We get asked this question ALL the time: “Jay and Laura, do you do devotions together and don’t you think a husband and wife should?” The answer is no and no. Now before you go and think we are not spiritual or shallow, let me give you my thoughts on this question.
First, Jay and I both have devotions every morning. We spend time reading and studying. I guess in my rebellious way I do not like the word “devotions”. I prefer study. I believe as Christ-followers in this culture, some of our “christianese” can actually be a detriment when talking to someone who is not a Christ-follower. We all understand what it means to “study” so when someone asks how you spend your time and you say “ studying” the next natural question will be, “ What do you study?” Then the opportunity presents itself to share what you study. If your answer to the question was, “ I do my devotions”, chances are the conversation stops there.
Second, Jay and I study very differently. We enjoy studying different topics and different authors, so we study separately. Do I think that is a problem? No. We can learn from each other’s studying and can talk about what we are learning and what the Lord is teaching us through our study. Do I think a couple should study together? That is up to you as a couple. What works for us may not work for you and vice versa.
Third, I am always leery when we get asked this question because 99.9% of the time it is a wife asking because she does not feel her husband is doing enough “devotions” for his spiritual walk. As a husband and wife, we can only be responsible for ourselves and our own faith walk with the Lord. We are responsible for what we study, when and how we pray, and the opportunities we give the Holy Spirit to move and speak in our lives. We are not responsible for our spouse.
However if you are looking to do something with your spouse for your marriage on a daily basis? Check out our book: Celebrate Your Marriage: 365 Daily Readings for Couples