Getting on the same page in any marriage is hard work! You are two different people who have been raised in two different homes with different thoughts on money, parenting, chores, children, sex, etc. You probably even have different opinions on what to watch on TV!
Jay and I both grew up in homes where mom and dad both were in the home. We both attended church growing up. Our parents all worked outside the home. We both have siblings. But that is pretty much where the similarity stops!
I grew up in a home with a handicapped father. In our home, our form of communication was either screaming or none at all. Just kidding – we did have civil conversations but we are all screamers as well! I was never really taught how to handle money. We had chores we were responsible to do – I folded laundry. I cooked dinners when my mom was working. I had to assist with dishes after dinner.
Jay’s family is loud but they don’t scream. They talk about EVERYTHING! Nothing is off limits. I don’t think Jay ever did his own laundry until he left for college. He was taught the value of money and saving it and working for it.
The differences in our homes growing up are not huge but enough that we had struggles over money, parenting styles, fighting fair and how to fold laundry! Getting on the same page in some of these areas is still a struggle after 32 years.
Now let’s imagine all these differences in your first marriage and now you are blending a second marriage and family. Talk about difficulty getting on the same page! The article linked below is information for those of you who are in blended or step-families. I also happen to think it is good for any marriage but the focus is on blending families and finances.