Blogger Mark Manson wrote an interesting piece pointing out that it’s not what we want in life that determines whether we are successful or not. It is how we are willing to suffer.

He explains that into adulthood he dreamed of being a musician. Even after dropping out of music school and giving up practicing, he still believed he was just waiting for the right opportunity to play professionally. He was in love with the end goal, but not the path to get there.

No life is free from pain or struggle. Wanting a good job won’t do anything for you unless you put in the work to get the education and experience you need, write a fabulous resume, and really kill an interview.

Everyone wants a fulfilling marriage, but not everyone is willing to do the hard work of service, self-sacrifice, humility and nurturing that a healthy relationship requires.

Choose what you are willing to struggle for, Manson says. You can stop wasting your energy on everything else.