Creating Courageous Couples

It takes courage to stay married these days.

We love to golf and one of our favorite golf quotes is from Tommy Armour who said: “If you want to play golf you’ve got to learn to love the struggle”.  Boy is that true for golf, but it’s also true in marriage.

It’s a struggle being married to a first-born male who always thinks he’s right!  It’s a struggle to be married to a woman whose spiritual gift is sarcasm. It’s a struggle to live with someone who puts the toilet paper on the wrong way!  (Thankfully we’ve figured that one out!)

Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” Unfortunately, the pattern of this world doesn’t tell us to “learn to love the struggle” does it?  No instead it tells us if our marriage is a struggle to get out!  “God wants us to be happy right?”  Newsflash— God doesn’t want us to be happy — He wants us to glorify Him.

Here are four habits Courageous Couples practice which in turn glorifies God.

1. Communicate.  Understand that men and women communicate differently and that’s OK.  Men talk about facts and activities and women talk about people and feelings.  So guys, never ask her what she thinks about something ask her how she feels and ladies never ask him how he feels about something ask him what he thinks. Seems elementary, and it is, but it works!

2. Cuddle.  We know this isn’t second nature for most men, but fellas your wife needs to be touched in non-sexual ways.  What happens when you give your wife non-sexual touches?  First, it makes her feel secure in her femininity.  She feels like a woman.  Second, it makes her feel secure in your relationship.  She knows you are good. And finally, it makes her feel loved.  What man doesn’t want his wife to feel loved?

3. Consummate.  That’s right sex.  Ladies for 80% of you your husband has a higher sex drive than you and as a result, you feel like it’s all he has on his mind.  But trust us this is a real drive for most men.  What happens for your husband when you have sex? First, it makes him feel secure in his masculinity.  He feels like a man. Second, it makes him feel secure in your relationship. He knows you are good. And finally, it makes him feel loved.  What woman doesn’t want her husband to feel loved?

You see to Cuddle and to Consummate go hand in hand.

4. Chuckle.  A great sense of humor is not the ability to laugh or make others laugh. It’s the ability to laugh at oneself.  Proverbs 17:22 says “Laughter is like good medicine.” It’s been medically proven that when we laugh our bodies release endorphins. These hormones are like natural drugs which heal the body.  When you laugh with your spouse it can actually heal your hurt and pain in the relationship.  Learning to laugh together is one activity you can share for your entire life!

We were made to be in relationship and when courageous couples practice these four habits we truly glorify God because it is He who made us to be in relationship.