Managing Marriage in the Midst of this Mayhem

We are truly living in unprecedented times! The COVID-19 pandemic has us thinking and doing like never before.

Travel restrictions, Shelter in Place orders and seriously, NO TOILET PAPER?

We are in a crisis, but remember a crisis is a “dangerous opportunity.” So we don’t deny the danger but we look for the opportunity!

The stress on our marriages and families is at an all time high. We want to help you to not only manage these strange days, but make marvelous memories during these trying times.

How can we do this?

By helping you develop some positive habits in the Midst of the Mayhem.

Habit #1: You Gotta Laugh.

Trust us when we say we’re taking this pandemic seriously.

However, we need to remember the old proverb which reads, “laughter doeth like good medicine.” If there was ever a time we need some good medicine in our marriage, it’s now.

Laughter changes everything. First, you release endorphins when you laugh. These are our bodies natural “opiates.”

Second, laughter allows you a new perspective on life and a new attitude toward this time which will pass.

It is also good for your children. Kids need to see that mom and dad, while concerned, are not overwhelmed by our circumstances. Laughter will ease their troubled minds and will lower the level of anxiety they are feeling.

Habit #2: You Gotta Learn.

Those who don’t learn from the past are bound to repeat it.

What can we learn from this pandemic?

Maybe that we need to have a store of goods in our basement for times like these.

Maybe we need to be more aware of what is transpiring in other parts of the world.

Maybe we can learn that we can do “without” and still vigorously enjoy life.

Now that you’ve contemplated what you can learn from this unprecedented era, the next question would be, “What can we learn DURING this time?”

Take up a new hobby or perfect an old one. Gather the family around a 1000 piece puzzle, and grow closer together while making a memory.

Habit #3: You Gotta Labor.

We were never promised an easy life.

We are given the right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

That’s going to take hard work, especially in times like these.

You can either let the work come to you or you can take yourself to the work.

Along with our normal household and work duties, we decided we were going to do two major accomplishments per day since we had to stay home:

  1. We were going to exercise HARD 6 days a week. When our gym was forced to close, we subscribed to Beachbody and we now do P90X every day in our basement. We can hardly move from the soreness, but we feel like we’re working toward progress!
  2. We were going to tackle projects around the house that may have been neglected over the winter. So far we’ve cleaned the garage, cleaned out cupboards, gone through old clothes… You get the picture. Work is good for the soul!

Habit #4: You Gotta Listen.

Often when we are traveling at full speed, we can miss the real meaning behind what our spouse or our kids are saying.

Your wife might say, “Hey! Let’s grab coffee,” but what she really MEANS is, “I need some time with just you.”

Or he might say, “You look great today,” but what he really MEANS is, “I need some time with just you.” 😉

Intentionally slowing down during this crisis will provide a great opportunity to really connect and “hear” what your spouse is saying to you — a genuine chance to dream and communicate about your life together.

It is also a great time to really listen to your kids and make sure they are doing ok with all the uncertainty in the world.

Habit #5: You Gotta Love.

Dictionary.com’s definition of “Love” is: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Why not take some time (we all know we’ve got it) and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Remember that passionate affection when all you wanted to do was be together.

You probably stood at the altar like we did: hearts and minds filled with giddy expectations of the journey ahead. But inevitably the romantic Streetcar Named Desire gets drilled by the big Locomotive Named Reality.

Take this time to rekindle the romance in your marriage and watch your love grow.

Yes, we are in a crisis but practice these habits during these trying times see the opportunity you have to see your marriage grow strong!

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