“The common understanding of the day was if you love Jesus enough, your marriage will be happy.” – Kay Warren

This thought pattern/attitude is both helpful and harmful. Helpful in that I believe it has kept marriages together. Harmful in that I believe the cost of staying together has been staggering. As Kay said in the blog.

“We wanted to honor the sacred wedding vows we had made before God and our loved ones, so divorce wasn’t on our radar. But neither could we visualize living in such pain for the rest of our lives. We just didn’t know what to do or how to create a healthy marriage out of the shattered pieces of conflict, disappointment, dysfunction, and resentment.”

Unfortunately, many Christian marriages struggle for years in silence. Too afraid to let someone know or help. Many of us think that if we tell someone the hell that is our marriage, people will think less of us and or Jesus will not be glorified. As a result, we live in silence, struggling daily with a marriage that is in shambles and thinking that this is all there is.

God brought you and your spouse together for a reason; to do something for His kingdom and when we sit in silence in a troubled marriage, we are wasting what God has brought together. Here are 3 steps to help you move past the silence and begin a journey of healing.

  1.  Seek help – counseling is not a sin nor is it an admittance of failure. It is an admittance that we can’t do this alone.
  2. Speak it out loud – in your life group or small group or just in your circle of friends. I think we all sit in silence because we have all been silent for so long. Begin to speak out loud where you are struggling. It will give others the freedom to do so as well
  3. Stand firm – taking divorce off the table gives you only two choices: live miserably or get help. You decide.

Authenticity is what the world is seeking. Jesus is glorified when his people live real and authentic lives! Stop being silent in your marriage and let God heal and use your marriage for His kingdom.

To read Kay Warren’s article click here.