It really didn’t take me (Jay) long to figure out that Laura’s brain operated very differently from mine. I remember moving into our first apartment and watching in amazement as she took her socks from a moving box and put them into her sock drawer. Her method of organization was similar to the way a tornado “organizes” a trailer park. She simply opened the box and threw them into the drawer. I was appalled and knew right away I needed to “fix” her.

You see, God has a plan for socks. We serve a God of order. Even Noah collected animals two by two: a simple lesson for the sock drawer! Or so I thought. “That would simply take too much time,” Laura responded in a tone that took me back to the snotty girls that picked on me in Jr. high.

“So how do you find the right socks?” I inquired.
“Let me demonstrate,” she replied. Laura proceeded to push and shove her socks into the drawer. The number of socks she was trying to put in the drawer exceeded the Fire Marshall’s maximum capacity by at least 50 percent. At this point she stood back, flexed at the knees, and flung the drawer open. Socks flew into the air in a rainbow of cotton. She grabbed two that matched and shoved the rest back into the drawer. “See?”
“Yes, I see that you have two socks that don’t match!” I toyed.
Without hesitation she retorted, “They match close enough for ME!”

Over the years I have tried in a variety of ways to show Laura how a sock drawer should look: neat, organized, and color coordinated. But to no avail. Once I even bought her one of those sock drawer organizers with the little boxes where you put one pair in box. The devise is in her drawer to this day, drowning in a sea of unmatched socks.

Finally I realized that the way Laura kept her sock drawer was simply a function of the way her mind works. My mind is linear: step one step two step three. Laura’s is random: steps, what steps? Neither way is right or wrong, just different, and when we began to accept our differences mentally, we began to experience the joy of mental intimacy.


Where have you found these types of differences in your marriage?  We would love to hear your stories!  Comment below!