We live in uncertain times. As Christ followers, we must understand this is part of God’s plan.

As Dr. Gregory Thornbury, former President of The King’s College in New York City put it, “We don’t live in a post Christian America. We don’t live in a post POST Christian  America. We live in a post reality America.” What does this mean? Essentially there are no longer any universally accepted values, standards or morals. In our culture a person’s perception is their truth.”

So how do we navigate the uncertainty of these present times?

By understanding the beautiful gift God has given you in your spouse. Then by utilizing these four pillars upon which to build your marital FORT! Sure to withstand the trials and tribulations the world will throw your way.


Scripture is clear in 1 John 4:19 which says, “We love because he first loved us”.

We believe the first and foremost place we live out our faith is in our marriage. So let’s paraphrase that Scripture just a bit:

“We love (insert spouse’s name) because he first loved us”.

When we exercise our faith by unconditionally loving our spouse, our faith grows. With that growing faith comes a peace and security this world cannot take away.

We place our faith in many things, for example we place our faith in the electric company every time we turn on a light.

We place our faith in the automobile manufacturer every time we turn the ignition.

Hebrews 11:1 — “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.” KJV

Have faith that God is a present and powerful force in your marriage.


We live in a country of obsessed people.

Obsession by definition means: the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire.

We’ve all struggled with an obsession from time to time. In our marriage, Laura struggled with an obsession to shop, and Jay, to lower his golf handicap. Both of these obsessions lead to difficulties in our marriage.

Using the definition above we can show that the Bible encourages obsession.

Phil. 4:8 states: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Again, our role in marriage is to obsess about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable in our spouse.

When we do, we give our spouse courage to face the challenges of the day!

So take a moment right now and write down attributes of your spouse that you can “obsess” on. When you start to focus on these obsessions, your marriage will begin to become everything you dreamed it could be.


Don’t slow down, instead STOP! Be still and rest.

One of the enemy’s greatest weapons is busyness. Satan doesn’t want us “bad” he wants us “busy”. The reason is because if we are busy we won’t be able to hear the “still small voice of the Lord”. For most of us our human nature “likes” to be busy. When we are we don’t have to think about our problems or our shortcomings or our issues. Busyness only makes our problems, shortcomings and issues worse.

If our Creator found it necessary to rest, and we are made in His image then it is imperative that we make time to rest. A Sabbath moment or two each day to exhale and breathe in His presence. A Sabbath day a week to hit the “reset” button. And a Sabbath getaway at least once a year to focus on each other and your marriage.


Trust is the glue of life. It holds all relationships together, especially marriage.

…and YES, trust can be cracked, splintered and broken in marriage, but here is what we know.

When we practice “I Do” daily, we build trust (even trust that has been broken). Wake up every morning knowing you have a new opportunity to say “I Do” all over again!

Trust is perhaps the most important element in your marriage. It must be prayed for, talked about, and practiced daily.

You are your spouse’s biggest fan. They are your biggest fan. So work on building your trust in each other.

If life hasn’t thrown your marriage into a tailspin, just wait. It’s happened numerous times for us. Unexpected illness (like the time Jay’s mom was given 6 weeks to live), unexpected death of a loved one, job loss, career change…

Life is not a straight and smooth path, but chin up! God is in control!

Put your…

FAITH in Him.
OBSESS about Him.
REST in Him.
TRUST in Him.

In these uncertain times, these four pillars will help you and your spouse build a fortress together!